Alright, it’s storytime.
Once upon a time, my roommate Kayla happened upon a Italian magazine containing a life-size poster of a shirtless Taylor Lautner, and purchased it immediately (the poster now decorates our entryway). To her dismay, it was accompanied by a selection of other Twilight paraphernalia featuring the unfortunately dead-looking Robert Pattinson, a character who our neighbors, the ladies of Panera Four, are known to dislike. Giggling, Kayla taped a picture of him on their door when they weren’t home. “Aww, it could be like a Door War!” she exclaimed happily.
A few days later, we awoke to the posting of a hand-drawn sign adorning our own front door.
This was followed shortly by this glorious collage suggesting that it is in fact we who are vampire lovers (Kayla would later refuse this, saying, “Hey, we took the poster of Taylor Lautner – in case you didn’t notice, he’s a WEREWOLF! Well, technically, he is not a werewolf, but a shape-shifter!” hahahaha).
We then decided to temporarily pause the vampire/werewolf theme by recreating some Motivational Posters of each of the ladies, using random images from Google for the collages and UrbanDictionary.com definitions of their names. These were posted sneakily on their door in the form of a surprise attack.
And then we began to wait. We waited for months, through hectic and calm times alike, for some sort of retaliation. Today, realizing that we have less than a week left, we decided to take action, utilizing 7 sets of fake plastic teeth I happened to have brought with me to college in hopes of finding a use for them. Kayla distracted the girls while Quinn and I, under the silent and spontaneous observation of Joe T. Cat, stealthily duct taped the teeth to P4’s door frame, along with a sign by the magnificent Kayla.
A few hours later, I opened the door to go for a run, and screamed in surprise as I was met with this:
Our entire entryway is smothered in tulle and balloons and drawings of chomping birds! P4 is catching up – but who will be victorious in the Great Door War of P4 versus P7?